Love and Grief

It may seem strange to write about grief during February, the month of love and Valentine's Day, but if we never love, we cannot experience grief. Although grief is devastating, a life void of love would be even worse. So although I am processing my grief from the loss of my husband, I cherish the times we had together and how much he enriched my life and the lives of my children.

The Mayo Clinic describes grief as “a strong, sometimes overwhelming emotion for people, regardless of whether their sadness stems from the loss of a loved one or from a terminal diagnosis they or someone they love has received.

They might find themselves feeling numb and removed from daily life, unable to carry on with regular duties while saddled with their sense of loss.

Grief is the natural reaction to loss. Grief is both a universal and a personal experience. Individual experiences of grief vary and are influenced by the nature of the loss. Some examples of loss include the death of a loved one, the ending of an important relationship, job loss, loss through theft or the loss of independence through disability.”

We all handle our grief in different ways and for different lengths of time. For me, when John died, at first my grief was so overwhelming that I felt as if I were in a deep dark hole with no way to get out. I knew that if I didn't do something, I would not make it.

Then I remembered how devastated I was when my ex husband left us. Feeling what I felt now that John was gone was so much deeper. Although the divorce was not the same cause of the grief, it was a great loss when it happened and the worse thing I had experienced up to that point in my life.

At the time of the divorce, although I was a Christian, I didn't really know much about God. People kept coming into my life to tell me about the love and goodness of God. I believed them and sought after God with the intensity of searching for a great treasure. God has never let me down. By the healing of the Holy Spirit and through the people He encourage to come into my life, I received His peace and was able to persevere and become whole.

So now, when John died, and I was feeling so broken and empty, I remembered how the Lord had healed me in the past, and I turned to Him completely. I knew that He was the only one who could pull me up out of the depths of despair. It's not easy, and I still have a way to go, but the Lord is helping me every step of the way.

The Bible has several scriptures encouraging us to trust in the Lord during our time of grieving. Here are a few.

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

1 Thessalonians 4:13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

If you have suffered a loss of some kind and are hurting during this time, I would encourage you to seek the Lord's help in your restoration. I know from experience that He will never let you down. He loves you more than you can imagine. Below is a song that shares my beliefs. I hope you are blessed by it. May God bless you with His peace and love.

God Cares About the Smallest Details of Your Life.

Sometimes when we think about God's involvement in our lives, we just think about the big things. God, heal me.; God, save all those I pray for etc. But in reality, God cares about the smallest details of your life and He is working on fulfilling those needs. If we are not in relationship with Him, or not in close relationship with Him, we often don't notice how He is providing for us.

Being married to John for so many years, I gained a new perspective on this phenomenon. When John looked at situations or circumstances, or people, he tended to look at everything the way God would look at them. I suppose Scripture would describe that as "Putting on the mind of Christ". This enabled him to love anyone he met the same way that God loves them. It really was amazing to watch him in action, loving all those he met.

Now, let's get back to God caring about the smallest details of your life. John enjoyed fresh hot coffee and we would go out to eat two to four times a week. We began to notice that when he would order a cup of coffee, at least 95% of the time the waitress would say, "I just made a fresh pot." or "If you can wait a moment, I will make a fresh pot for you." Finally, John brought this to my attention, and commented that it was because God cared about the smallest details of our lives. God knew that his son, John, loved fresh hot coffee, so God made all the arrangements. Incredible!

As I was sharing this story with my friend, she commented on how God had provided for her need. She was at a church conference. She uses a special walker and usually needs help setting it up. At the end of the conference, her sister went to get the car to bring it closer to the door. My friend was contemplating how she was going to get to the door. Before she knew it, a women walked up and asked if she could help. The woman was a physical therapist and knew exactly how to set up the walker and help my friend transfer to it and walked her to her waiting car! Then she was able to prepare the walker to go into the car. Amazing! Of all the people in the church who could have helped, this was the one person who responded to God's call. She was the one who had all the knowledge and skills necessary to get the job done.

God's love for us is above and beyond anything we could dream or imagine. If you want to hear another incredible story of God's attention to detail, please listen to my podcast of "Mall Order Bride: A True Cinderella Story." You can access it by clicking on "podcast" in the menu bar or the circle that says "podcast".

I hope these stories encourage you to start looking for how God is working in your life to bless you in even the smallest detail. God bless.

Let God's Gentle Ways Bring You Peace

When I was first learning about the Lord, I learned of His love through the people He sent into my life to help me survive and get through a devastating time. I found myself wanting to know more and more about Him. I wanted to feel His love and needed His peace that goes beyond understanding.

I would speak to Him as I was driving and sometimes sense an answer: Like the time I said, "If only my kids would listen to me, their lives would be so much better!" Then I sensed Him saying, "If only you would listen to Me, your life would be so much better!" I laughed and agreed.

Or another time when I was thanking God for all He had been doing in my life: I said, "God, what can I ever give you to show you my appreciation? You created everything. You know everything. You have all the resources and can make all the connections. What could I ever give you?" Then I sensed Him saying, "All I want is you." I thought that would be an amazing trade! I give God myself, with all my weaknesses and lack, and He give me everything I need. (Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.") Although I knew this was an amazing trade, I was still hesitant to relinquish control and allow Him to lead me in ways that I could fulfill my purpose and be my authentic self.

Then one day I felt the urge to drive from Sarasota to Riverview to ask my friend Kristin to pray for me. I went and she did and I was changed. As she prayed, she created a picture in my mind of me sitting by the shore with the waves gently washing over me; nothing to be afraid of. In my image, as I was sitting there on the shore, it was as if the waves were God gently washing over me, taking away the hurts and making me new. In her prayer, she encouraged me to not be afraid and to be my authentic self as God was covering me with His love.

Not long after that experience, I freely gave my life to the Lord and accepted Jesus as my savior. My life has never been the same since then. Certainly I have had trials, but I have always had His peace and that peace is more powerful than anything I could have imagined.

So, if you are having a hard time or feeling overwhelmed with life's circumstances, I would encourage you to turn to Jesus. He understands. He really understands. God bless.